Divorce Coaching
How Do You Feel?
There are things in life we haven’t done before, usually divorce is one of them. The process takes on a speed of its own and we have to keep up and make decisions about our future, family and wellbeing just at a time when we are feeling most vulnerable, very raw and often surprised at how it has come to this.
Add to the mix fear, guilt, blame and revenge and you are guaranteed an explosive pot of emotions. Each stage of the proceedings raises a new issue.
Generally we are not trained to be difficult individuals but to survive in divorce we find that fairness and honesty just don’t wash. You don’t want to lose your integrity but yet, you don’t want to become a victim of circumstances. You are passionate, loyal and prepared to stick up for yourself and sometimes it feels like you are armed with a toothpick and your ex has the Samurai sword.
Is This What’s Happening?
Is this your worst nightmare – no matter what or how you say it, you find that you are in the wrong. Your ex won’t negotiate or discuss possibilities. What about the children? What lifestyle changes are you going to have to deal with and how. What’s the yardstick you use to measure a normal divorce? Is yours normal? There are changes and opportunities which you feel would benefit you but they upset your ex and maybe you feel that you would be better just doing nothing and staying put.
What Will Coaching Do For You?
Coaching through divorce – at any or all of the stages - is enormously beneficial. It provides you with an external support system so you can get off your chest what you really feel. This allows you to think more clearly, allow your emotions to flow and express yourself openly without worrying that your friends/family are getting tired listening to your moans or latest challenge.
Coaching helps you move away from the emotion to view the situation with more understanding so that you can work through your frustration/anger/guilt/ fear/grief to leave as few scars as possible. That way you can ensure you have identified all options, learn how to trust again and gain the tools to build a new future.
You will learn how to improve communication with your ex and the choices you have in responding not reacting. Correspondence and communication between the solicitors will be smoother and more productive..
What Else?
Divorce coaching helps to build a balance between having a life rather than just focussing on the divorce. It helps you focus on what is to come not what has gone. You will be able to find choices and options about your way forward, find what it was that really made you come alive once upon a time. You will find how to keep your relationship with your children intact by recognising how your behaviour affects it.
Stress related problems such as not sleeping well, work performance being affected and not smiling or laughing as much are likely to reduce from Day 1. The fog starts to lift and you see again. You breathe normally. You can relax.
Coaching can also help you face the new challenges –
- How to deal with the finances
- How to decide where to live
- Career choices
- Learn to cook
- How to shop
- When to date
- How to have fun
- How to look after yourself physically and mentally
- How to deal with the changing relationships with friends and family
- How to deal with Christmases and birthdays.
What It Doesn’t Do!
A coach during divorce does not enter into the legal proceedings at all. A coach does not give legal advice. A coach provides the soft skills for the emotional and practical side of divorce. The solicitor is the trained legal brain. Coaching will however make you think twice about phoning your solicitor three times a day - amounting to tangible cost benefits and lets them get on with the legalities!
What The Coaching Experience Has Given Others
The continued overwhelming love of their children and a strong parental relationship.
The ability to let go, to accept the unacceptable and to move forward.
Patience with the unknown
The realisation that keeping true to yourself throughout allows you to live with integrity, honesty and the ability to look at yourself in the mirror each morning with no shame or guilt.
The courage and strength to achieve against all odds.
To take responsibility for your own actions and thoughts and not to allow others criticisms to affect you.
To achieve true happiness and a new life.
Here’s How It Works:
After an initial discussion to gain an understanding of each other and ensure we can work together, the coaching process is usually undertaken by means of telephone calls.
Once you are working with me, you are never on your own. If an issue arises urgently between calls you’ll have have my mobile number and email address – just get in touch for support.
Why not phone me now so that we can work out a plan together – I’m here to help. The first half hour consultation is free and there is no obligation to continue.
For more information, get in touch today!
HELP ME HELP YOU!! Thanks to the success of the first month's input, this survey will be ongoing, 'How we can help divorcees more effectively' Each participant is offered one hour coaching by leaving their details where indicated. Thank you - Take the Short Survey Now
